Understanding Domestic Violence - the importance of maintaining the patriarchal lens.

When I first started working as a domestic violence (DV) counsellor in the early 1990’s, accepted best practice viewed DV through a patriarchal lens, i.e. we saw that the stereotypical gendered roles created and sustained within a patriarchal culture, which encouraged men to assume the place of authority and privilege and women the position of submission and responsibility within a family, established a structural imbalance of power. This situation therefore provided the opportunity and permission for men to dominate and control family members for their own benefit. Statistics consistently reported that between 20 and 33% of men chose to behave this way.

However, I have observed in the years since, within some circles, there has been a gradual watering down of this perspective to the point where some suggest that DV is no longer a gendered issue and that perpetrators of DV are equally men and women. Justification for this position comes from research that identifies female DV perpetrators, DV in same sex relationships, male and female children and adolescents who are violent in the home etc. Even though I acknowledge the research, in my view, what it reveals is the growing complexity of DV rather than the demise of patriarchy and it’s ongoing impact. That complexity requires those of us who work in this area to consider all of the factors that contribute to DV. I have seen two common mistakes made, firstly, those who believe that patriarchy is the only factor that matters so any others can be ignored and secondly, those who believe that because not all DV perpetrators are men, we should now dismiss patriarchy as a factor. For me it is important to acknowledge and face all factors that drive DV, rather than view it as either this or that.

Finally, a few comments on why I think patriarchy remains a crucial element in understanding DV.

1. Even though in western society, we have taken great strides toward the goal of equality and releasing both men and women from gendered role expectations, there is still a long way to go along the continuum towards full equality. Also, other cultures, having started later are behind in this process. So, in our multi-cultural society, the main DV driver, the structural imbalance of power in favour of men over women remains strong.
2. Much of the abuse perpetrated in an heterosexual relationship by women and children arises as a reaction to male control, I.e patriarchal DV. Their violence (understandable, but not condoned) is an attempt to address their plight after other strategies have failed.
3. For those men who want to acknowledge and take responsibility for their abusive behaviour, understanding their actions as largely influenced by unavoidable long term socialisation rather than an irreparable deficiency of character, is a valuable perspective because it provides hope for change and the chance to rebuild self respect.

These are just a few thoughts (therefore incomplete) on a very big subject. Feel free to comment, challenge and ask questions about aspects you’d like elaborated.